Buyers Remorse

by Emmit Other

I am returning the Fucks
I give
About what you think about me
In regards to children
Or otherwise
Say what you want
See you in court if need be
Others, who I do give a fuck what they think
Say quite the opposite of you
Or what Psychopath Hill might dictate
But I am exchanging this
For most definitely doubting your Christianity
Your inpirational Ferris Buellers Day Off
Rolling Grandma's Bones
All over Coffin Brothers Mortuary
Like the Walmart Shopper you are
I can forgive your violation of your sects commandments
Involving Meth Use
I can forgive your Zamboni Humane Society Ethics regarding mans best friend
(That part goes back in the book you didnt know about)
I can forgive you being an empty mask looking for a face
And picking Pimple Dilbert
I can forgive many things
But am required to forgive none
And I am simply not going to lie to myself
About your behavior
Words matter
And you are not Christian
No matter what paste you eat
No matter how many pictures of Aryan Jesus you put on your childrens bedroom wall
No matter how much you say with saucer eyed anime crocidile tears that "ewe iz twying vewy vewy haud"
Christians come to funerals.

Lovely Freedom

by Emmit Other

Christmas
As anyone knows
is in the giving
Not tbe getting
And while it is the thoight that counts
I enjoy it as an art
Considering the person is
And focusing on their being
And choosing a gift to reflect their nature
A grin
that is worth most any cost
I find the exchange of fistwads of cash
measured carefully between the exchangers
gauche at best
And a slow
Water torture drip
of chained obligation
from two people
Who didnt know me
Didnt want to know me
Made up a dog I never had
was eventually a source of mirth
At the head in a bucket
didnt really mean it
school of christianity
So when theee was nothing
No gift at all
From these two
It was meant as an insult
But it was lile a warm summer blanket
wrapping my soul
And finally we can all
admit a little bit more truth
The Dog you invented for me
That I never actually had
Was the best present from you
I ever got
Merry Christmas

Curbstomping Parliament

By Emmit Other

A Parliament of Vampires
Makes Quite a Little Mess
A falsificated courtesy
Dark angels then to bless
We claim we care about you
But we all know that isnt true
Death by tidal paper cut
And failed follow through
Passive aggressive to the core
Of Threshold pulled to for
Survey monkey's shakespear
Say's you're rotten to the core
Safe zones dont make you safe
When a demon's at the desk
You know you are lying About caring
When you always need to ask
There is power
In words unsaid
On the ungiven reply
It takes the lines
Between the worlds
And ill intent can die
One victory
In one bright spot
In an otherwise open desert
But that wont stop the thirst
Or karmicly unavoidable dessert
Just is best served so cold
That liquid nitrogen works its queue
That serving in its helping
And the bill is coming due

Ode to Timmy, the Dog we Never Had

By Emmit Other

I hear tale
Via lazily written Christmas letter
That Julia and I love our dog very much
Ah yes,
Timmy
That sweet Malamute Marshmellow
We loved him
He saved our lives once
Protecting us from a Gasleak
His keen Beagle Nose
Sniffed out the threat to us
But he didnt see well in the bad light
But since he was a German Shepard
No one was going to mess with him in the dark
We particularly loved how he licked himself
Like a cat
And barked with that tiny yippy voice
The Terrier that Wouldn't stop barking
At the abusive neighbor below us
On the 13th floor
We got complaints
Including how he kept slipping through the walls
And staring at the neighbors
Through their mirror
Glowing red eyes
And a growling
Hellhounds are troubling that way
I have it on good authority
I resemble the actor who plays the devil
In the Mormon Temple Ceremony
So what animal could be more appropriate
Than a Hound of Tindalos
To Satan but Not Satan
A Lovecraftian Non Euclidean Dog
Leaping forth
From the pages of my mind
So real
He is actually hyper real
We love our dog
Timmy fell down the well
And came out the other side
Stronger than ever

Sergeant Fiddleback

by Emmit Other

Cast in the shadows
Between Reality's Towers
Servant to Masters
And Invisible Powers
Taken to maxims
That every army makes
Trainer of Greenhorns
And upping the stakes
Master on Master
Passes the Shadow
Servant and Thunder
Maker of Soldiers
By the Plethoran Farrow
Every force, every army
Runs on more than command
The spine of might
Where warfare can stand
Survivor of dark lords
And many a hero
He moves through the grayness
As a plenary zero
Wiping the writing
Of a dozen dozen lives
Fate turns a blind eye
Like uncivil wives
It isnt that death isnt possible
In this toxic temporal game
But the reaper of souls
Just won't take the blame
Warden of Mothmen
And Herder of Daemons
The accounting of quarters
The receiver of Freemens'
Oaths to the powers that owe more to the stars
Than empty promises
And temporal scars
Echoing plainly
Samsura becalled
Flickering badly
In a medly of halls
The choir has spoken
The dice have been cast
It isnt the toil
And it never can last
Listen for fiddles
Of spidery silk
Gossimer fate motes
And basilisk milk
Take to the highways
Where gremlins hitchhike
Watch for the Hunter's Moon
With Grendle's head on a pike.

Polyjuice Pietin Said the Record Straight

by Emmit Other

Poly for Short  Polyjuice Pietin for Long
Wanted to know she wasnt alone
She picked up the phone
To jaw the old bone
With her fellow hags
Aunt Petunia and Gaslight Granola
Sipping on Diet Caffinated Cola
While Frumpy McPiano tinkled the keys
Stirring up her righteous thous and thees
For the nation of bees.

You didn't remember it
You didn't remember it
It's not like you thought
It's not like you thought
It didn't happen like you think it happened
It didn't even happen at all.

Flippin and floppin
Projecting and Directing
They frame the Overton as they please
Wag the Dog and Dug the Dig
The larger animal to them is a bunch of fleas
Dilbert and Baseball Bo and Tedbot Epstein
Are for whom they ho
Stand by their man and stand up to truth
Pucker up butter cup withstand forsooth

You didn't remember it
You didn't remember it
It's not like you thought
It's not like you thought
It didn't happen like you think it happened
It didn't even happen at all.

Rickety Rocket and Grinning Vanilla
Are the Head of State
to this Horror Thrilla
Perfect yet imperfect
Take what you got
Its not a lot
And its full of rot
But its THEIR rot
and they will defend that hill
Til their dying day
Come what may
No matter what you say
Why are you talking anyway?

You didn't remember it
You didn't remember it
It's not like you thought
It's not like you thought
It didn't happen like you think it happened
It didn't even happen at all.

Rape and Abuse are no excuse
To steal our Dalied Memories
Made up from our Caboose
Decked out in Christmas lights
And drinkin from Mason Jars
We're the royalty of the rockies
And our stars are upon thars
Sing to the Hymn as we make up the chorus
You are a threat to children
Is what we place before us
We've locked ourselves in the room
With a wolf its true
But to prove our point
We'll drink koolaid
And fill the lock with glue
We're the besters of the westers
And we're twisted all out get
Our heads our in our asses
And you're losing that bet.

You didn't remember it
You didn't remember it
It's not like you thought
It's not like you thought
It didn't happen like you think it happened
It didn't even happen at all.

What We Already

by Emmit Other

We already knew that we are Dust to Be.
But Entropy gets right up and personal from time
We are supposed to deal with it in drops
Death smirking
Flirting and grinning between sessions of star dust
Its one thing to have a sense of perspective
This too shall pass
As literally everything shall pass
Its another for something to laugh
And say "Causality, lolz, am I right?"

One man's random
Is another man's pattern recognition
After a while I dont care
I dont demand my own scripted television show
I'd be happy with a cup of coffee
And a sense of normal
That my actions have meaningful consequences
That he universe made any kind of sense
I am fine with random
I really am
But Totally Random is a whole different ballgame.

I tell people I have skewed luck
Very good
or Very Bad
But most people dont consider the practicalities of what that means
But I live it every day
So now here I am listening to my podcast
Dancing with Mary
And relaxing
Simply because of the fact that it isnt just the Random
But that my choices will not be Received
I think therefore I am
But everything else is up to negotiation
And if consequences, good or bad
Simply dont matter
Then there is nothing else to be but laughing
Laughing
Laughing
Laughing
Laughing
Laughin
Laughing
Laughing
8D
8D
8D
8D
8D
8D
8D



8D
8D
















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Dunst Dunst Dunst

by Emmit Other

Oreo Mango Falcon Godwin

Whelby Trauma Foundation

Generally Optimal Piss-ants

And

Potato Orangutan Toupee Usurious Satanists

Functionally Usurp Boundaries About Restrictions

Unicef Sanhedron Applesauce

Totally Going Inside Formulas

Totally Talking Forks Normal

Jurisprudence Knifed

Dotarded Encephalitis Memories

Calculate Ubiquitous Ralphing Buttholes Stellar Trophy Opera Memories Poopy

Trying Happy Einsteins Mocking Selfie Empathy Laughing Vomitous Envy Sucked

.......

Democracy by Shitting Birds
Tiny Giblits You can Cram
Into the Minds of the Least Common Dominator

Laughing Crap Demons

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The problem with democracy is
People suck.