Buyers Remorse

by Emmit Other

I am returning the Fucks
I give
About what you think about me
In regards to children
Or otherwise
Say what you want
See you in court if need be
Others, who I do give a fuck what they think
Say quite the opposite of you
Or what Psychopath Hill might dictate
But I am exchanging this
For most definitely doubting your Christianity
Your inpirational Ferris Buellers Day Off
Rolling Grandma's Bones
All over Coffin Brothers Mortuary
Like the Walmart Shopper you are
I can forgive your violation of your sects commandments
Involving Meth Use
I can forgive your Zamboni Humane Society Ethics regarding mans best friend
(That part goes back in the book you didnt know about)
I can forgive you being an empty mask looking for a face
And picking Pimple Dilbert
I can forgive many things
But am required to forgive none
And I am simply not going to lie to myself
About your behavior
Words matter
And you are not Christian
No matter what paste you eat
No matter how many pictures of Aryan Jesus you put on your childrens bedroom wall
No matter how much you say with saucer eyed anime crocidile tears that "ewe iz twying vewy vewy haud"
Christians come to funerals.

Lovely Freedom

by Emmit Other

Christmas
As anyone knows
is in the giving
Not tbe getting
And while it is the thoight that counts
I enjoy it as an art
Considering the person is
And focusing on their being
And choosing a gift to reflect their nature
A grin
that is worth most any cost
I find the exchange of fistwads of cash
measured carefully between the exchangers
gauche at best
And a slow
Water torture drip
of chained obligation
from two people
Who didnt know me
Didnt want to know me
Made up a dog I never had
was eventually a source of mirth
At the head in a bucket
didnt really mean it
school of christianity
So when theee was nothing
No gift at all
From these two
It was meant as an insult
But it was lile a warm summer blanket
wrapping my soul
And finally we can all
admit a little bit more truth
The Dog you invented for me
That I never actually had
Was the best present from you
I ever got
Merry Christmas

Curbstomping Parliament

By Emmit Other

A Parliament of Vampires
Makes Quite a Little Mess
A falsificated courtesy
Dark angels then to bless
We claim we care about you
But we all know that isnt true
Death by tidal paper cut
And failed follow through
Passive aggressive to the core
Of Threshold pulled to for
Survey monkey's shakespear
Say's you're rotten to the core
Safe zones dont make you safe
When a demon's at the desk
You know you are lying About caring
When you always need to ask
There is power
In words unsaid
On the ungiven reply
It takes the lines
Between the worlds
And ill intent can die
One victory
In one bright spot
In an otherwise open desert
But that wont stop the thirst
Or karmicly unavoidable dessert
Just is best served so cold
That liquid nitrogen works its queue
That serving in its helping
And the bill is coming due

Ode to Timmy, the Dog we Never Had

By Emmit Other

I hear tale
Via lazily written Christmas letter
That Julia and I love our dog very much
Ah yes,
Timmy
That sweet Malamute Marshmellow
We loved him
He saved our lives once
Protecting us from a Gasleak
His keen Beagle Nose
Sniffed out the threat to us
But he didnt see well in the bad light
But since he was a German Shepard
No one was going to mess with him in the dark
We particularly loved how he licked himself
Like a cat
And barked with that tiny yippy voice
The Terrier that Wouldn't stop barking
At the abusive neighbor below us
On the 13th floor
We got complaints
Including how he kept slipping through the walls
And staring at the neighbors
Through their mirror
Glowing red eyes
And a growling
Hellhounds are troubling that way
I have it on good authority
I resemble the actor who plays the devil
In the Mormon Temple Ceremony
So what animal could be more appropriate
Than a Hound of Tindalos
To Satan but Not Satan
A Lovecraftian Non Euclidean Dog
Leaping forth
From the pages of my mind
So real
He is actually hyper real
We love our dog
Timmy fell down the well
And came out the other side
Stronger than ever