Wednesday, September 3, 2025

The Golden Quisling Award - Weekly




🏆 The Golden Quisling Award


September 4, 2025


"The Devolution Will Be Televised"


Presented to: The Washington Post

*For services rendered to authoritarian normalization through journalistic embalming.



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🧽 The Crime:


> “In 3‑hour televised Cabinet meeting, Trump soaks up flattery” — The Washington Post, August 27, 2025




That's the headline. That’s their headline. Not:


“Trump Demands Loyalty Oaths in Televised Spectacle”


“Cult of Personality Reaches Cabinet-Level Delirium”


“Autocrat LARPs Presidency with Giant Face Banner and Nobel Fantasies”



Nope.

Just: “Trump soaks up flattery.”


Like a man enjoying a hot tub. Like an old sponge in the White House sauna. No context, no warning, no moral framing. Just vibes.



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🧍‍♂️ The Spectacle:


Three hours.

A Cabinet meeting turned loyalty parade.

One Secretary hung a giant banner of Trump’s face on a federal building.

Another said he saved “wildlife and college football.”

Someone literally said “You have saved this country.”


And WaPo responded like a sleepy court stenographer on Ambien.



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🔔 What They Should’ve Said:


> “Trump’s Cabinet Debases Itself on Live TV in Authoritarian Fever Dream”

“Banana Republic Energy Surges as Officials Compete for Most Humiliating Praise”

“Cabinet Meeting or Coronation Rehearsal?”




But no.

Instead, we got eunuch prose for empire cosplay.



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⚖️ The Verdict:


The Washington Post, you had one job.


When democracy puts on a clown nose and pulls out a scepter…


When federal officials hold a three-hour suck-up session while the man in charge faces 91 felony counts…



You wrote a traffic report.



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🥇 Awarded For:


Metric Grade


Normalizing Fascist Spectacle A+

Sucking Up via Omission A

Chutzpah-Free Copy A++

Pretending It’s Fine 🏆




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✉️ In Conclusion:


The Devolution Will Be Televised.

And if The Washington Post covers it, it’ll sound like an HR memo about donuts in the breakroom.


Congratulations, WaPo.

You’ve earned the Golden Quisling.

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