If Only

 by Emmit Other

If only you had cared about my feelings

At least a tenth as I did yours

The irony is

You feel likely you put up with me

More than I put up with you

But I couldn't talk to you

And you could always talk to me

I never put up a legal defense of the indefensible

I never waited years to subject my friends to an endurance challenge

Only to gloat about it 

All that build up

For nothing

I would not have defended an asshole

Who felt that friendship was only one way

I supported his projects

And his games

And while he was a better GM than the gloater

He wasn't that good

But I played when he ran

Until he stopped giving a shit about my games

Which made it harder to give a shit about his

I will miss you all.

But I doubt you will miss me.

You might miss being in my novel.

You might even still exchange stories about my games

Likely trashing me the whole time

But if only

If only you had actually had a little more empathy

We could still be friends