This week was *supposed* to belong to the Heightful Eight.
On sheer structural treachery, they earned it: eight Senate Democrats crossing the aisle to reward Trump’s shutdown hostage-taking and help launder an indemnity deal for coup-adjacent colleagues is exactly the kind of high-level, slow-motion betrayal the Golden Quisling was built for. That’s collaboration at scale. That’s how you hollow out a republic while still pretending you’re “the adults in the room.”
But there are lines you don’t cross, even in America 2025, and one of them is **defending men who prey on kids** by quibbling over what *kind* of predator they are.
So the main Golden Quisling this week goes to **Megyn Kelly**, for performing live semantic necromancy on Jeffrey Epstein’s record—insisting he wasn’t a “real” pedophile because his victims were “15-year-old girls,” not eight-year-olds, while simultaneously running interference for Trump as “just a guy who knew a guy.” You do not get to launder the language of atrocity and then hide behind “I’m just reporting the facts.” That’s not journalism; that’s PR for monsters.
And since we’re here in the media sewer:
No, **Fox is not news**. Fox does not *deserve* to win anything with “news” in the framing; giving them a journalism-adjacent award feels like upgrading a roach motel to a boutique hotel. The only reason they even brush up against this conversation is that they occasionally cosplay “serious outlet” when the Pentagon or official media herd needs a façade of unity.
Which is why, on the institutional side, the **roach-film ribbon** gets pinned to **Newsmax**. If Fox is the original infection, Newsmax is the lab-leak variant—too shameless to even pretend it has standards, happily weaponizing every talking point to keep the worst people in power and the dumbest narratives alive. The fact that Fox sometimes pretends to have “values” forces my hand: Newsmax is where the collaboration is pure, undiluted sludge.
I feel like I need to scrub my fingers with steel wool after typing that, but that’s the ledger for this week.
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